You'll often hear people talk about a person who has the "best of intentions" or a "heart of gold" or "says all the right things." What does all that really mean? At best, we are trying to give people the benefit of the doubt for situations in which they haven't fared so well. At worst, we are avoiding conflict and hoping for the best.
One manager I worked for had a favorite phrase, "What we ignore, we encourage." Now, that's not to say that we should come down on people immediately, bereft of mercy or reason. But, let's be honest that sometimes we do just hope that it works out. And you can probably count on just how many times that's happened with no fingers!
Instead, what we need to concentrate is not on perceived intent, but actual actions. Do people do what they say they will? Are the results acceptable or is it just the fruit of minimal effort? At the current state of human evolution, we cannot read minds. The only truth in life is that of action. What we say to one another means little if not backed up by consistent, real and powerful actions.
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